The 'Good' That God Works Out

As I read this blog post about Romans 8:28 and how we, as counselors, use this verse to try and help those who are hurting, it struck me that suffering isn't something that we just tag a verse onto and move on. The old saying, 'take two pills(verses) and call me in the morning' isn't to work in this situation. The sufferer is looking for the pain to go away and to try and make sense of what is going on. So, when God tells us that He is working out all things for our good, what does that mean? What is the 'good' that God is working? Well, Dr. Rick Thomas gives us some insight into this verse and what God is after through our suffering and trials. There are a lot of hurting people today in the church and I pray that God will use His Word to help those in need. If we truly believe what Peter tells us in 2 Peter 1:3-4, "His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us to His own glory and excellence, by which He has granted to us His precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.", then we can boldly approach Christ through His Word and know that He has given us the answers to life's difficulties.

Are you willing to search out Scripture for your problems?
Are you willing to trust that God is good and that He knows what you need?
Are you willing to ask someone to help you through your difficulties?


What does “all things work together for good” really mean?

Let's Start 2012 With Vision

As we begin 2012, may we look to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ for His help, guidance and grace to endure the days to come.  May Christ be glorified in and through our lives.  God bless you all and have a Happy New Year!

O Lord,

I launch my bark on the unknown waters of this year,
with Thee, O Father as my harbour,
Thee, O Son, at my helm,
Thee O Holy Spirit, filling my sails.

Guide me to heaven with my loins girt,
my lamp burning,
my ear open to Thy calls,
my heart full of love,
my soul free.

Give me Thy grace to sanctify me,
Thy comforts to cheer,
Thy wisdom to teach,
Thy right hand to guide,
Thy counsel to instruct,
Thy law to judge,
Thy presence to stabilize.

May Thy fear be my awe,
Thy triumphs my joy.

Length of days does not profit me except the days are passed in Thy presence,
in Thy service,
to Thy glory.

Give me a grace that precedes, follows, guides, sustains, sanctifies, aids every hour,
that I may not be one moment apart from Thee,
but may rely on Thy Spirit
to supply every thought,
speak in every word,
direct every step,
prosper every work,
build up every mote of faith,
and give me a desire to show forth Thy praise;
testify Thy love,
and advance Thy kingdom.

From a collection of Puritan prayers in The Valley of Vision.

Trends in Biblical Counseling

I came across this post from Dr. Bob Kellemen and Dr. David Powlison that they put together to show the recent trends in the biblical counseling movement.  What an encouragement to read about the leaders and churches that are actively working to bring help to the hurting through the Word of God.  I hope this is an encouragement to you as we seek the Lord to continue to do these things at Desert Springs Church in Albuquerque, NM. 
What has been so exciting to me is the amount of biblical counseling resources that are available today as opposed to five years ago.  When I first began the journey of biblical counseling training over five years ago, biblical counseling was strong, but not as widespread as it is now.  It was hard to find churches and organizations that were committed to biblical counseling then, but now it is quite the opposite.  May God continue to bless His work in and through his people that are weilding His Word to help those in need!

The Top Ten Trends in Biblical Counseling

As I speak around the country on biblical counseling, I typically hear two very different responses. Sometimes I’m asked, “When you say ‘biblical counseling,’ you don’t mean ___________ do you?” Various people fill in that blank with different labels—negative to them. What a shame that placing the word “biblical” in front of “counseling” causes some in the church to recoil in fear.

But there’s good news—the tide is turning. I consistently hear comments like, “God has used biblical counseling to change my life.” And, “Our church’s biblical counseling ministry is impacting our entire congregation and our community for God’s glory.”

It’s exciting to reflect on what God is doing as he empowers leaders to equip his people to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:11-16). With that reality as the backdrop, here are the top ten positive trends that I see in biblical counseling today—shared in reverse order.

10. A Collegial Spirit

Increasingly, members of biblical counseling organizations are choosing to work together and to learn from each other. The 2010 launch of the Biblical Counseling Coalition (BCC) is just one example. The vision of pastors James MacDonald of Harvest Bible Chapel in Rolling Meadows, Illinois, and Steve Viars of Faith Baptist Church in Lafayette, Indiana, the BCC exists to strengthen churches, parachurch organizations, and educational institutions by promoting excellence and unity in biblical counseling as a means to accomplish compassionate outreach and effective discipleship. Viars, BCC's president, explains this collegial vision:  The BCC is about relationships and resources. Relationships because we believe that together we can accomplish more. Resources because we want to help everyone interested in practicing biblical counseling in their churches to have the best tools and training possible.

9. A Positive Perspective

At times, modern biblical counseling has suffered under the stereotype of what it was against. A shift is taking place as biblical counseling focuses more on a positive presentation of what it is for. James MacDonald explains the transition:  Like every move of God, biblical counseling is ready and poised to move from the establishment phase to development phase. This means getting beyond the pejorative of infancy and the infighting of adolescence into a thoughtful, measured, broader biblical counseling coalition. At a recent national biblical counseling conference, I had the privilege of gathering with the "next generation" leaders. The Lord led me to challenge them to step past the nuances of our different methods and into the agreement that anyone seeking to solve people’s complex problems from a biblical anthropology and a foundational commitment to the sufficiency of Scripture was on our team. Everyone agreed that the time has come to rally together for the sake of the gospel and for hurting people everywhere who need what only Christ can bring. Biblical counseling as a unified movement is on the rise.

8. A New Gen Leadership

We are grateful for the founders of the modern biblical counseling movement—men like Jay Adams and pastor Bill Goode (under whose ministry I came to know Christ). We’re also grateful for a new generation of leaders in biblical counseling. Examples abound: Deepak Reju at Capitol Hill Baptist, Robert Cheong at Sojourn Community, John Henderson at Denton Bible, Mike Wilkerson at Mars Hill, Rob Green at Faith Baptist, Jeremy Lelek of the Association of Biblical Counselors, Kevin Carson of Sonrise Baptist, Heath Lambert of Crossing Church, and Garrett Higbee of Harvest Bible.

7. An Emphasis on Compassionate Care

There was a time when “modern biblical counseling” was stereotyped by some as “harsh confrontation.” That label is dissipating as biblical counselors embrace a growing commitment to loving engagement. Biblical counseling provides compassionate soul care through sustaining and healing for suffering and gentle, humble spiritual direction for sin and sanctification through reconciling and guiding.

6. A Culturally Informed Approach

The biblical counseling movement is maturing through the contributions of a growing multiethnic group of women and men. Elyse Fitzpatrick and Laura Hendrickson are just two examples of women with gospel-centered biblical counseling ministries. Charles Ware, Deepak Reju, and Robert Cheong are representative of a diverse group of individuals embracing biblical counseling.

5. A Comprehensive Model

In the past, biblical counseling might have been seen by some as somewhat one-dimensional with a focus on combating the impact of the fall/sin. Today, biblical counseling comprehensively examines creation (understanding people from God’s original design), fall (diagnosing problems resulting from sin), and redemption (prescribing God’s solutions through our salvation and sanctification in Christ). Fresh approaches are comprehensively emphasizing our relational (spiritual, social, and self-aware), rational, volitional, emotional, and physical nature as they seek to help people to grow in grace.

4. A Commitment to Progressive Sanctification

There is a growing linkage between biblical counseling and spiritual formation. The fruit of wise counseling is spiritually mature people who increasingly reflect Christ (relationally, rationally, volitionally, and emotionally) by enjoying and exalting God and by loving others well and wisely. Current models of biblical counseling have made great progress in teaching that the counseling process is a sub-set of the discipleship process, both of which God designs to assist us to grow in grace.

3. A Robust Presentation of the Sufficiency of Scripture

The biblical counseling movement continues to flesh-out robust and nuanced perspectives on the relevance, sufficiency, profundity, and authority of God’s Word for Christian living. The same confidence that pastors take into the pulpit when preaching God’s Word, biblical counselors share in the personal/conversational ministry of the Word. Biblical counselors are convinced that the inspired and inerrant Scriptures, rightly interpreted and carefully applied, offer us God’s comprehensive wisdom where we learn to understand who we are, the problems we face, how people change, and God’s provision for that change in the gospel.

David Powlison explains it well:  Nothing compares with Scripture for making sense of the troubles and struggles of life. Through the Word, Christ brings the exact mercies that troubled people need, and the Holy Spirit forms would-be helpers into his loving, wise image. Wise counseling is in the church’s DNA.

2. A Vision for the Entire Church

There’s a growing movement to embed biblical counseling and personal change within God’s community—the church. As Steve Viars explains: Our goal is to not only have a counseling center, but to be a counseling center where the core doctrines of the sufficiency of Scripture and biblical progressive sanctification impact and inform every facet of our ministry. As part of this movement back to the local church, churches are increasingly becoming equipping centers where biblical counseling becomes a normal part of the one-another ministry of every believer. Biblical counseling organizations like CCEF, NANC, and ABC are equipping pastors to equip their people.

1. A Gospel-Centered Focus

Biblical counselors are emphasizing that wise counseling centers on Jesus Christ—his sinless life, death on the cross, burial, resurrection, ascension, and promised return. Biblical counseling points people to a person, Jesus our Redeemer, and not to a program, theory, or experience. We place our trust not in any human system but in the transformative power of the Redeemer as the only hope to change people’s hearts. Wise counselors seek to lead struggling, hurting, sinning, and confused people to the hope, resources, strength, and life that are available only in Christ.

********************************

David Powlison and Bob Kellemen will host an open discussion on the current state and future role of biblical counseling in the church from 1 to 2 p.m. on Wednesday, April 13, at TGC's 2011 national conference in Chicago. The discussion follows the first round of workshops, including Powlison's talk on "The Pastor's Counseling Ministry" from 11 a.m. to noon, and a one-hour lunch break. Everyone interested in the ministry of biblical counseling is invited. Location TBA.

Bob Kellemen, Ph.D., has pastored three churches (and launched biblical counseling ministries in each), served for a dozen years as the founding chairman of the MA in Christian Counseling and Discipleship Department at Capital Bible Seminary, is the founder and CEO of RPM Ministries, and serves as the executive director of the newly launched Biblical Counseling Coalition. His sixth book on biblical counseling will be released in October 2011 by P&R: 'Equipping Counselors for the Local Church: The 4E Ministry Training Strategy.'

Cutting & Self-Injury - A Follow Up

I came across this article this morning and was reminded that I haven't had any follow up articles to my older post of Self Harm.  This is a really good article using Psalm 23 as the backdrop.  Author, Jay Younts, captures the truth of God's protection and presence promised in Psalm 23 that can help anyone that is caught in the sin of Self Harm or Cutting.  This blog post comes from the Association of Biblical Counselors.  There are great resources and blogs from well respected Biblical Counselors.  Please comment on this post.  I would love to know how any of you have dealt with this problem and what tips you might be able to give.


Self-Injury and Psalm 23  By: Jay Younts
One day two parents bring a fragile soul to your office and tell you she has been caught cutting. They want you to help their daughter stop. But as you look at the daughter all you see is painful detachment. She has no real desire to stop cutting as long as the pain within haunts her soul and entices her to seek relief from a razor blade.
She knows the cutting is wrong, but she is beyond caring about right and wrong. She will take whatever relief she can get, even if it is only for a few moments, as she is distracted by the pain of the razor and the resulting rush of endorphins. For her, the bottom line is that, for a moment, she is distracted, free from her relational pain.
Self-injury, in its various forms—such as cutting—is an attempt at self-healing. Does that sound like an oxymoron? It should, because it is. But the cutter has a rationale for cutting. Deep within the soul of the cutter, pain and emptiness reign. She feels alone and embittered by the unfairness of life and her own hurt. The cutter is persuaded that no one understands. If God is acknowledged at all, he is viewed as distant and unable to stop the gnawing pain within.
Self-injury knows no social or economic bounds. From the lonely, hurting teenager to the empty world of Princess Diana, self-injury offers a momentary escape from relational agony. Here is one way to define the sin of self-injury:
Self-injury is a form of self-inflicted physical injury performed in order to assuage the relational hurt resulting from broken relationships with God and others. Thus, self-injury is not primarily a cry for help, but a desperate attempt at self-healing when relationships with others have seemingly failed.
The underlying sin of self-injury is turning to self for relief rather than to God. The cutter tries to accomplish for herself something that only God can do. Sin’s deceitfulness lures the self-injurer on. The razor continues to promise what it cannot deliver. The song “Numb,” by Linkin Park, describes the pain of a cutter, a teenage daughter alienated from her mother, this way:
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.
And I know I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.
So what can you do to help self-injurers that God brings to you? Both Mark Shaw and Ed Welch have written helpful booklets that anyone counseling self-injurers should read. You, of course, will do a thorough job of data-gathering, looking for the underlying issues that brought things to this point. In addition, allow me to suggest adding Psalm 23 to your resources in dealing with self-injurers. This psalm describes with amazing insight the world of the self-injurer. Let’s take a brief look at each verse and how it applies. I will make the comments specific to cutting, but the principles apply to all forms of self-injury.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
This strikes right at the center of the pain of the cutter. From a relational perspective, the cutter believes that she lacks everything. She believes that if God is indeed her shepherd, then he must be doing a terrible job. Functionally, she knows little of the care of God. He is not a loving shepherd, but a tyrant. She may not voice these words directly to you or to her parents, but that is where she is functionally. Your task, counselor, is to bring her back to God’s reality. This verse connects to reality from God’s perspective.
“How do I begin to explain God’s reality?” you may ask. That is an excellent and fundamental question. The answer to that question is often referred to as one’s worldview, although we are looking only at the “short version” here.
We are here on the planet to do what he has called us to do. Thus, through the promises and work of Christ we do, in fact, have all that we need. We lack nothing. Our cutter is viewing life from her own perspective, from her perception of her needs. This way of thinking is always a recipe for disaster. Some people embark on a lifelong quest to meet their own needs. They chase the illusive dream; to achieve it they may become workaholics or engage in some other vain pursuit. Cutters don’t wait that long. Their pain drives them to seek relief NOW. The goal of your counseling should be to bring the self-injurer to embrace the reality of this first verse of Psalm 23.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
These two verses speak of the blessed reality that verse one proclaims. If God is our shepherd, then he does indeed refresh our souls. He does guide well. In his care we indeed are surrounded by green pastures. But the cutter denies this reality and sees life only from her own lonely perspective. She is living by sight and not be faith. So, as you work through the pain of her life, you have this blessed hope to set before her: salvation, true rest, is found in coming to Christ (Matthew 11:28-30). Christ alone, through his word alone, can make sense of this young girl’s life. To be healed, she needs to see with eyes of faith. Inner healing must begin for the physical wounds to heal fully; otherwise the wounds will beckon to be opened again.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
This is where you can begin; this is where your cutter can identify deeply with the written word. She knows all about the dark valley of her life. The psalmist does not gloss over this dark reality. The self-injurer lives in this valley. The only light she sees is the brief reprieve of the razor blade. Start here, and help her see that her view of reality is at odds with God’s reality. Christ was tempted at every point that she was tempted, but he never reached for the sharp edge of the blade. Instead, he turned to the joy of submitting to his heavenly Father. Because of his death, your cutter can do this as well. She no longer has to fear the dark evils of her life. God can bring comfort to her darkest fears.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
This is the reality that awaits your counselee as she turns away from her fears—fears driven by a flawed, sinful perspective that says she is alone and there is no one to help with her hurt, pain and fear. As she is able to embrace the truth of these last two verses, she will be able to rest in the truth that God is her Shepherd, and she has all that she needs in him.
As many commentators have said, Psalm 23 is for the living, not the dead. Using compassion, skillful listening, insightful questions, diligent prayer, and courageously proclamation of God’s sufficient Word, you can bring hope and healing to the cutter.

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

Today's post is the last of this great six part series on the relationship between small group ministries and biblical counseling.  It has been such an encouragement to me to see the similarities between Desert Springs Church and these other churches in the vision of the small groups/community groups being the priority for doing life and ministry.  I hope these have been an encouragement to you as well.  Where do you fall in this topic?  Do you see the community group/small group/home group ministry as the first stop in seeking counsel/help in your lives?  All of God's children are counselors.  What kind of counsel are you offering?  What kind of counsel are you seeking?  God's Word is sufficient for our hurting and struggling hearts (2 Timothy 3:16).  As we seek to equip our leaders in biblical counseling, it is easy to see that some are intimidated by what they are being asked to do.  Being asked and trained to do something new is always intimidating.  I believe that over time as our leaders take steps in the practice of biblical counseling, they will see that God is faithful in His promises to use those in need of change to help those in need of change.  I also believe that the intimidation factor eases as we realize that it is God who is at work in and through us (Philippians 2:13) and when we see Him working in the lives of others right before our eyes, it is cause for great joy and praise to Him.  This is no different than when our leaders are teaching a passage of Scripture and 'light bulbs' go on and we see lives changed because the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).  Praise God for His Word and for the ministries that He calls us all to.  He began this good work and He will be the One to complete it.

My Story

I have been on staff at The Village Church since December of 2006. I started out as the Care Pastor and built out the Pastoral Care Department. This included grief related ministries, pre-marital mentoring ministry, and lay biblical counseling training, among other things. I did this for four-and-a-half years.
Recently I have transitioned to Home Groups Ministry, where I am an Associate Groups Pastor at the Flower Mound campus. I have had the opportunity to bring biblical counseling training and resources to Home Groups within the leadership and coaching structures.

Small Groups and Discipleship

Small Groups Ministry at The Village Church has been the main avenue for discipleship since the church was replanted nearly 10 years ago. As the church has grown, the need for solid Home Group leaders has become a consistent priority.
This is where biblical counseling has become paramount for Home Groups at The Village Church. The three primary areas most affected have been the New Leader Orientation, Home Group Coach training, and resourcing.

New Leader Orientation

The New Leader Orientation is the training we put new group leaders through. A bulk of that training is derived from a conglomerate of biblical counseling resources (Equipped to Counsel, Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, How People Change, etc.). This has given us the opportunity to early and often introduce our leaders to the world of biblical counseling while equipping to be gospel-centered, heart-focused biblical counselors in their Home Groups.
Also, this gets them familiar with how/when/why to leverage excellent biblical counseling resources provided through the Association of Biblical Counselors (with whom we have a partnership). Most of the leaders at this point have heard about biblical counseling from the stage, Recovery @ The Village, and the resources we use throughout the church.

Home Group Coach Training

Our Groups Ministry has been implementing a coaching structure for the past couple of years. Each coach is over anywhere from 3-to-5 group leaders. They pour into the leader in a variety of ways and in essence become an extension of the pastors and elders.
We train our coaches using the curriculum written by Michael Snetzer in our Recovery Ministry, which is a biblical counseling ministry that addresses repentance, suffering, and spiritual dynamics. We also take our coaches through eight weeks of biblical counseling training (furthered from the New Leader Orientation Training they have already received). Again, we leverage resources for our coaches through the partnership we have with the Association of Biblical Counselors.

Join the Conversation

• How could you implement small group and biblical counseling training ideas from the ministry at The Village Church?
• Of the six blog posts from six different churches, what principles do you want to implement as you build a biblical intersect between small group ministry and biblical counseling?
• In addition to what you learned from these six churches, what would you add? What would you recommend that other churches consider doing in order to build bridges between small group ministry and biblical counseling?

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

Good morning!  Today's post is a re-post of the BCC's Grace and Truth Blog's series on the relationship between small groups and biblical counseling.  It is such an encouragement to read about other churches that have the same vision and practice as DSC in regards to our Community Groups.  Biblical counseling is an all God's people, all the time paradigm.  By God's grace, He is the one effecting change in a person and He chooses to use broken vessels to accomplish His will.  Praise God that it is not up to me to change a person!  I get to watch God change the person and that is an incredible thing to observe.  God is good and active in the lives of His people!  Again, these posts are at the Biblical Counseling Coalition's blog, Grace and Truth.  Enjoy...

The Ministry of the Word in Everyday Life

Our church, Covenant Fellowship Church, started as a church plant in 1984 with a team of a couple of dozen adults and children relocating to the Philadelphia suburbs. We are part of the Sovereign Grace Ministries family of churches. The church currently has a membership of about 1,500 people. We are committed to a pastoral care model built on Gospel centrality and biblical counseling. The pastors of the church care for the spiritual needs of the people in the church in preaching and teaching, in their personal ministry, and in creating structures of care for the church. We are committed to doing personal biblical counseling as a significant and ongoing part of our ministry responsibilities.
To be committed to care through biblical counseling, however, doesn’t mean that the pastors are the designated counselors within the walls of the church. While the call of the pastor presumes that he has gifts, skills, and experience in the care of people, biblical counseling doesn’t succeed or fail on the expertise of the one giving it. The emphasis isn’t on the gifts of the counselor, or the fact that counsel is coming “from the pastor,” but on the power and sufficiency of God’s Word. Therefore, we see counseling in a broad sense first—as ministry of the Word among ordinary people in everyday life.

Community Group Ministry

Our basic structure for ‘counseling,’ as understood above, is our Community Group Ministry. Small groups have been an integral part of our church since its inception. In fact, for the fifteen years that the church met in rented facilities, small groups were the sustaining context of the church on a day-to-day basis. That orientation remains very much who we are to this day even though we now occupy a building and have the programs and ministries that a building allows a church to provide.
Our Community Groups (as they are now called) have some features that make them distinct from the way small groups are structured in many churches. For one thing, the Community Groups are the primary context where members of the church receive the care provided by pastoral ministry. While our pastoral staff is dedicated to availability, responsiveness, and counsel to any member, it is neither biblical, practical, nor ultimately helpful for the members of the church to depend on personal pastoral meetings for care. People need the effect of the gifts the Holy Spirit distributes throughout the body of believers. We all need the ‘one another ministry’ that is embedded in biblical community. And we need the shared experiences of suffering, weakness, and change that are essential to the maturity and witness of the church. The Community Groups serve that function in a primary way at Covenant Fellowship Church.
Community Groups are so essential to who we are as a local church that they are an essential expression of membership in the church. In other words, to be a member of Covenant Fellowship Church, a person is committed to attending and actively participating in a Community Group. If a person is not involved in a Community Group they are not positioned to receive the pastoral care that the church has promised to them. As pastors, we are committed to the care of God’s people given to us through membership and seek to help anyone who is not participating in a Community Group find a way to experience this necessary care. Simply put, a person’s care from the church, whether it is meeting practical needs or addressing spiritual struggles, is intended to be centered in the familiar and supportive environment of the Community Group.
Our Community Group leaders, therefore, are more than just facilitators of the small group. They carry a responsibility to ensure that every member of the church has access to the practical care of the church and that the pastors are kept abreast of the needs and challenges the people in the church face. Our Community Group leaders are the primary laypersons who have personal ministry responsibility in the church. Prior to becoming Community Group leaders, they will have demonstrated a mature ability to offer counsel to others as brothers and sisters in Christ, will have gone through our general discipleship and leadership training courses, and will have had specific training in the responsibilities of Community Group leadership. Small group leaders meet as groups with pastors once per month for the purpose of their own care and for ongoing training in personal ministry.

The Personal Ministry of the Word

But we are not looking for the Community Group leaders to ‘do the counseling.’ We have sought to teach the church that ‘counseling’ is one expression of the personal ministry of God’s Word in community; alongside discipleship, intercessory prayer, biblical fellowship, wise advice, confession, encouragement and shared study of God’s Word. It is in the multiple layers of relational ministry that counseling occurs.
For example, if someone is struggling with acute anxiety, he or she may meet with a pastor who will help position them through formal counseling for change. But the pastor will involve the Community Group leaders, friends, and even at times a brother or sister who has struggled with the same issue to create a network of prayer, support, and counsel for that person. Since we view change as a work of God that takes place over time, this ‘community based counseling’ provides the insight, support and accountability to help a person with lasting change over time.
It is the cooperative work between creative pastoral engagement and enduring community fellowship that serves as our model of biblical counseling in the church.

Join the Conversation

What could you apply to your ministry from the way Covenant Fellowship Church blends creative pastoral engagement and enduring community fellowship?

Lessons Learned Series

Have you often thought, if only I had some tips for how to counsel from people who have done this longer?!  Well, guess what?  Here ya go.  At the Grace & Truth Blog, the staff with the Biblical Counseling Coalition have had a number of biblical counselors write about what lessons they have learned.  There are posts from five years as a counselor all the way to 40 years experience.  These are treats to read because there is one theme that resonates throughout all of them...the Gospel of Jesus.  It's all about Jesus.  The power of Jesus Christ and His Word changes lives.  I hope you enjoy the following post from Dr. Robert Smith who has over 40 years under his belt as a biblical counselor.  If you want to read all the other parts of this series from BCC, you can click on the link above and access them all.  God bless you!



Note from the BCC Staff: This is the eighth in a series of periodic posts by biblical counselors regarding what they have learned during their years of ministry in biblical counseling. Read Part One: Hayley Satrom: Reflections after Two Years, Part Two: Deepak Reju: Reflections after a Decade, Part Three: Bob Kellemen: Reflections after Thirty Years, Part Four: Howard Eyrich: Reflections after Forty Years, Part Five: Chris Boucher: Reflections after Five Years, Part Six: Jeremy Lelek: Reflections after Eleven Years, and Part Seven: Andy Farmer: Reflections after Eighteen Years. Today Dr. Robert Smith shares what he’s learned after forty years as a biblical counselor.

Still Learning

One of the things I have learned is that I have not really completed learning anything—thus I cannot say that I have really completely learned anything. Whatever I have been learning I am still learning. So this will really be what I am learning through 40 years of ministry.

Prioritizing My Time for God’s Glory

One of the late-in-life lessons I am learning is to carefully evaluate what I am doing. As an “old man,” I do not have many years left statistically. But I want these sunset years to be very productive. As I approached retirement this became my goal for this time of life. I am still learning what is the best way to use my time with the skills God has enabled me to learn.

The Importance of Scripture

One of the most important concepts I have been learning is the importance of Scripture memorization. At His temptation, Jesus defeated Satan by quoting Scripture to him. Since the devil is a roaring lion on the prowl for someone to destroy (1 Pet. 5:8), I need to have the Word of God at readiness at all times. It is called the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17) which I need to have out of the sheath and ready to use at all times. This is only possible through memorization.
Along with this is the superiority of the Bible over any of the benefits of this life—over money (Psalm 119:72), food (Psalm 119:103), sleep (Psalm 119:62,148), and even prosperity (Psalm 4:7).

Dependence Upon the Word as My Guide

Another thing I am continually learning is that I cannot depend on my emotions to guide me in important decisions. It must be the Word of God. My emotions are too affected by my sinful desires so that when I am up, I become overly optimistic about my abilities and over-schedule myself. When I am upset, I sinfully react when I should listen to learn. When I am down, I spend too much time on my feelings and self-pity. So, as I minister, my reliance must be on my relationship with God and His Word. It is a continual struggle to keep these as the authority rather than my feelings.

Careful, Compassionate Listening

Another important counseling concept that I am still working on is carefully listening to the counselee before presenting any biblical solutions. I must know what motivates the actions in order to help the total person. This requires listening and asking questions based on what the counselee tells me.
Of recent years, I am learning the importance of understanding the suffering the counselee experiences. Most of their current sinful actions result from their attempts to reduce the pains of suffering they have experienced. In the process, I must show compassion toward them in that suffering. Since I have not suffered as they have, one of the ways to show compassion is to listen to their story for the purpose of understanding their situation.

Learning from My Counselees

It has been interesting how the Lord brings me counselees that remind me of changes I need to make in my life. Because of this, more than once I have thanked the Lord for the person(s) sitting across from me. Many times I have had to admit that my mouth just said some things my ears need to hear.

I Need God’s Help

God’s help in counseling has been something I continually need and learn. More than once I have prayed a Nehemiah prayer in the middle of a counseling session. This comes from Nehemiah 2:2-5. The king asked Nehemiah what he needed after Nehemiah had told him his sad face was due to his city of origin being completely destroyed and in ruins. The short phrase in v. 4 is my guideline, “So I prayed to the God of heaven.”
There is no indication of Nehemiah kneeling to pray, holding up his hands in prayer, or even telling the king he was going to pray. It seems that the king asked the question, and while Nehemiah is taking a breath to answer, he is praying, for the next statement is his answer. I do that many times in counseling sessions and my prayer frequently is “Help?” And God does.

Focus on the Benefits of What I Can Do

Because this is referring to 40 years of ministry, that brings up the issue of aging. As the body ages it deteriorates due to the curse of sin. Rather than continuing to get stronger as it did in the first two or three decades, it then starts the slow decline of physical strength and ability. When younger, it was easy to think of aging as no big deal. But when age sets in it really is a big deal. The mind wants to do certain things but the body refuses. Life used to run seemingly unlimited—like the “Energizer Bunny”—on a couple of D batteries. Now the energy supply is reduced to one old, used AAA battery.
But what I am learning is that this helps me focus more on the benefits of what I can do than the limitations from what I cannot do. I have years of Bible study and memorization which are now rich resources in my teaching and counseling. They have produced a wisdom that is only based on God’s Word, not my intellectual skill. Not being able to do some physical things keeps my focus on the skills God has blessed me with in the spiritual and mental areas.

Not to Be Threatened by Change: Be Models of Change

Another major learning concept is to not be threatened when things change or when we are being replaced. We do not like to be replaced because it is easy for us to think we are irreplaceable. But young people come along and want to change things. That means our way of doing them is no longer satisfactory. So as we get older, we are in many ways gently moved aside. If we are honest that is good. The younger people are only doing what we did when we were young.
But being moved aside does not mean we are useless if we have been growing in godliness all our lives. With years of biblical change behind us when we reach the senior years, it should not be difficult for us to change. In fact, we can demonstrate the benefits of change to the younger people. We should be models of change.
All this is helped if I see the big picture of life and ministry rather than the everyday details. See change through the big picture.
Let me illustrate. When our church moved from traditional to contemporary music this was a big problem for me. My past training (some of which I should have challenged) made this a spiritual matter. But there was also the spiritual matter of submitting to my leaders and seeing the big picture of this change: this would enhance the outreach ministry of our church to which I was thoroughly committed. So I had to decide which was most important—my music preference or the outreach of our church. Many other factors were present, but seeing the big picture helped me understand and accept the music changes. Even though I haven’t made contemporary music my favorite, I see how it is enhancing our church outreach. Many of the words are actually Bible verses and passages so that is certainly God honoring.
There are many more lessons that I have been learning and I thank the Lord for the opportunities He has given to minister while I am learning them.

Join the Conversation

It has been said that God will use the events of our lives to humble us and that our role is to be responsive to God’s humbling and shaping process in our lives. How are you responding humbly to life’s lessons so that you grow personally and as a biblical counselor?

It's All Greek To Me!

Growing up in my family, there was a phrase that we used often when we didn't understand a certain word, phrase or language..."It's all Greek to me."  I still think about this phrase today when I am trying to speak Spanish to some of my crew at the golf course.  Sometimes, we can tend to approach God's Word that way.  If we don't understand something that God is trying to say in His Word, when we just don't want to hear what He is saying through His Word, or if we are doing a word study, 'it's all Greek to me!'  The cool thing is, the New Testament was written mostly in...wait for it...Greek!  So, it IS all Greek to us!  But even cooler is the fact that God is not the God of confusion, but of understanding.  1 John 5:20 says, "And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ.  He is the true God and eternal life."  Praise God!  Let us, then approach God's Word in much study and thought with expectation that He will reveal Himself to us in a deeper way.  His promise of giving us understanding is so that we all will know Him who is true...our triune God!

Now, what about someone that we know who is in need of help?  God gives us opportunity to hear their story, to get to know them better in it and we conclude, 'it's all Greek to me!'  This can be intimidating when we look at helping someone as our responsibility to cure them or to fix them.  As I posted earlier, we are called to open our mouths and proclaim God's love and truth to the hurting.  The results are solely up to the Lord.  We are not to shy away from helping/discipling someone in need because God is in it and we are called to it.  We are not alone. 

So, how does the Bible define biblical counseling/discipleship?  The following post was taken from Paul Tautges from the Grace & Truth Blog.  I pray that it is helpful to you as God brings others into your lives for discipleship/counseling.




The New Testament uses several different words to emphasize the more concentrated aspect of disciple-making that we call “counseling.” Today we examine four. The meanings and uses of these words help us to envision a well-rounded ministry that is geared toward helping people change.

Parakaleo — First, according to Vine’s Expository Dictionary of Old and New Testament Words, the Greek word parakaleo means “to call to one’s side,” hence, “to call to one’s aid.” It is used for every kind of calling which is meant to produce a particular effect, hence its various meanings such as “comfort, exhort, desire, call for.” The Apostle Peter uses this word to urge Christians to abstain from fleshly lusts (1 Peter 2:11), and the author of Hebrews insists that believers are to encourage one another to be faithful to their local assembly (Heb. 10:25). God’s plan for personal character transformation has always included other persons in the community of the faith because normal spiritual growth does not take place in isolation, but rather alongside others.

Protrepo — Second, the Greek word protrepo means “to urge forward, to push on, to encourage.” For example, when Apollos desired to go to Achaia, the brethren “encouraged” others to welcome him with grace (Acts 18:27). Therefore, we will discover that, from time to time and in varying degrees, every person needs to be motivated to keep pressing forward in his or her pursuit of the application of biblical truth to life.

Noutheteo — Third, A Linguistic Key to the Greek New Testament says that the Greek word noutheteo means to admonish or warn. It means to put before the mind so as to “correct through instruction and warning.” It differs slightly from teaching in that it is normally a response to some kind of error or it is a warning against spiritual danger, present or potential. When Paul counseled the Ephesian elders about the danger of the emerging false teachers who would seek to make disciples by their false doctrines, he reminded them of the three years in which he did not cease to admonish them (Acts 20:31). Romans 15:14 teaches that believers should be able to admonish one another biblically. This should always be toward the goal of spiritual maturity (Col. 1:28), and therefore believers should appreciate the shepherds who give them instruction toward that end (1 Thes. 5:12). The noun form, noutesia, means “training by word—either of encouragement, when this is sufficient, or of remonstrance, reproof, or blame, where required.” Therefore, we will also discover that God’s plan for making disciples requires believers to care enough to confront one another when brothers or sisters they love are in error, and to firmly warn or instruct them concerning their spiritual danger.

Paraineo — Fourth, the Greek word paraineo means “to admonish by way of exhorting or advising.” An example of this is when, in the midst of a storm at sea, Paul admonishes his fellow sailors and urges them to keep their courage (Acts 27:9, 22). Therefore, we will also discover that the process of spiritual growth requires believers to give courage to their fellow companions on the journey of discipleship, especially when they are in the midst of the storms of life.
In all these cases, these believers are “counselors,” with or without a title. And the counsel dispensed is always in the form of words spoken from the commitment of biblical love. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” As biblical counselors, we must take great care in the words we use with our disciples, for speech has the power to kill them with despair or to give them the hope of life. I appreciate David Powlison’s simple definition of counseling as “intentionally helpful conversations.” The power of biblical counsel lies in the degree to which our words are filled with the Word.
[Excerpted from Counsel One Another: A theology of personal discipleship, 2009

Are You A Saboteur?

What?!  I've never sabotaged anything in my life...right?  The dictionary defines sabotage as: any undermining of a cause.  Any undermining of a cause, eh?  What is the cause of my life?  2 Corinthians 5:9 says, "So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please Him." (emphasis mine)  Could I possibly sabotage the cause of my life, the aim of my life?  The Bible answers that question with a resounding 'YES'.  Sin is deceitful (Hebrews 3:13), so when we choose sin over righteousness, we have just sabotaged the aim of our lives...to please God.  "Well, of course, you say, that sin is the problem and we need God's help to eradicate it in our lives, but am I a saboteur?  That sounds harsh!"  We can be saboteurs of a great many things in our lives without even thnking about it in those terms.  As I mentioned before, when I choose sin over righteousness, I have sabotaged the purpose of my life by not bring glory to God or pleasing Him.  What about everyday problems that I face, do I sabotage them as well?  When I was in college, I would go on cycles of depression.  I wasn't depressed all the time or for great lengths of time, but for short, intense bursts of time.  What I found in those moments was a craving for that feeling of something being wrong.  There were a lot of reasons for my depression at those times, but what I took away from those experiences was a desire for the heartache that I felt.  It became a 'security blanket' for me as I approached life.  I didn't have hope.  I didn't have purpose.  I didn't want them, I wanted the heartache.  When I became a believer, I had to really deal with that issue.  It was an idol in my heart because I felt that I needed to feel that way to be safe.  I could shut people out of my life when I was feeling that way.  It wasn't until I saw the glory of God through Jesus Christ and His redeeming work in my life that I began to deal with this deep rooted heart issue.  Is it still a struggle today?  Not much at all, but I am sinful and still in need of Jesus to keep me from despairing all over again. 
Are you feeling something similar right now?  Are you a believer in Jesus and in despair?  Have you sabotaged hope and purpose because it is 'too good to be true'?  Psalm 121:1,2 says, "I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."  Where do we find hope and purpose in this fallen world and even in our despairing hearts?  Lift you eyes to the Lord who made you and formed your inmost being.  He is our help!

The following article is something that I was able to identify with and hope that Dr. Welch's wisdom and God's truth will lift your eyes today, even in the midst of our ongoing sabotage.

Hope Sabotaged

By: Ed Welch

Published: Oct 06, 2011

I first noticed it when an up-and-coming executive was caught embezzling money. He knew the system. He didn’t need the money; he didn’t even care about money. And, he knew he would get caught. His embezzling had nothing to do with stealing and greed. Instead, he was moving quickly toward dizzying heights of success; hope was rising too—and he had to kill it. In the confusing world of fallen humanity, everything can be turned upside down and backwards. In his case, hope was a threat that had to be eliminated.
No hope…

It happens more than you think. There are many hope saboteurs out there.

• • Do you get uncomfortable or even panic when your circumstances improve?
• • Have your hopes been dashed and you are committed to not having that happen again?
• • Do you believe that somehow you are unworthy of “success”?
• • Do you predict doom and gloom and then help it on its way in order to prove your prophecy true?
• • Have others assured you that you are a failure and rather than try to prove them wrong, you assume they are right?

Beginner hope saboteurs are like Eeyore—pessimists. They forecast the worst. The pessimist says: “There are enough ups-and-downs in life, so let’s assume the worst—prepare for the worst—then the worst might not feel quite so bad.

Those who live with depression are the more advanced pessimists. Just try to speak words of encouragement to some depressed people and you will discover that they seem to become more depressed!

Here is one rule that hope saboteurs live by: success creates higher expectations, so undermine any gains before anyone notices. Some aren’t satisfied until they have hit a new bottom. There, they feel comfortable, safe and at home.

Odd, yes. But this makes complete sense in a godless world. Apart from God, things will indeed get worse. Why postpone the inevitable? Why pretend that all will be well? Ecclesiastes explores such a world and its natural conclusions.

Hope…

But if we have come to know Jesus Christ, who died and is now the resurrected, living King, then hope-killers, along with their Eeyore brethren, are blind. Even in the midst of suffering, victimization and our own sin, the King will accomplish good and his reign of peace will be eternal.

So, a follower of Christ is a person who has hope. That, of course, takes a lot of explaining. After all…I might die today….the church that I attend might be gone in a year… I could lose my job. Uh oh, my inner Eeyore is coming out. But the church-at-large will grow in breadth and depth, Christ and his followers will be vindicated, and we will see the lover of our souls face-to-face.

We are people of hope, and this hope cannot be sabotaged. We must proclaim it well to a world that is almost persuaded that hope is a fantasy.

What We Can Learn From Other Biblical Counselors...

“How come you have been so successful at this business of counseling,” he asked?

I responded something like this. “Dave, all I can tell you is that I work with Divine authority. I listen to what people tell me about their lives and then I engage them with the Word of God. As they respond positively to the Lord, I coach them in the implementation of the Word to bring course correction and work hard at training them to walk in His way.”  - Dr. Howard Eyrich (Biblical Counselor for over 40 years)

Biblical counseling can be seen as a daunting task.  Daunting because we (the church who are all called to be counselors) can buy in to the notion that it is up to us to fix other's problems.  When we begin to think that, we remove the power of God's Word in the hearts of other's lives and rob Him of glory.  It is not up to us, we are the messengers whom God called and promises to equip.  He is the one who is at work in the hearts and lives of His children.  In His grace and mercy, He chooses to use broken people to help other broken people.  Praise God!  Much like evangelism, we are called to proclaim God's Word, the Gospel, to a dying world and it is up to the Lord to draw and save.  God owns the results of salvation and of helping hurting people in the midst of their problems.  When we can have this right perspective, helping others isn't so daunting after all.  It is exciting to see what God is going to do next!  To get to see Him work in front of our fallen eyes is a blessing.  We can then engage hurting people, get messy with them because we want to see the glory of God work mightily in our own lives and in the lives of those we are trying to help.  What a great God we serve!

The Biblical Counseling Coalition's blog, Grace and Truth, has been posting a series going of lessons learned from biblical counselors.  From two years into their ministries to 40 years.  Great lessons that all lead to the grace of God and His work in the lives of others.  I recommend them if you are wanting to get some helpful tips and some great encouragement from them.  You can find them at: Grace and Truth Blog  There are also other posts that are super helpful and I hope that you are encouraged by the variety of counselors that have contributed to this blog.

Is Comfort Really Comforting?

We have all done this.  We all have stories about this.  When we have tried to offer comfort to those who are in need and/or suffering.  What do we say?  How do we offer comfort?  We are called to bear one another's burdens (Gal. 6:2), and to care for those who are in need (1 Thess. 5:14), so we come alongside them and try our best, by God's grace.  Sometimes, that comfort and care isn't received as we intended it and that can make us uncomfortable to care for someone again.  Dr. Amy Baker gives us some wisdom about some different categories of comfort and how we can respond when we are given or receive that comfort.  God is good and sovereign.  His plan for His children isn't destroyed by our mistakes, and it isn't enhanced by our victories.  God is God.  He uses us in His plan, but His plan doesn't depend on what we do or not do, say or not say.  Praise God for that!



When Comfort Isn't Comfort - Part 1

Second Corinthians 1:3-4 proclaims that God comforts us in all our troubles and then instructs us to comfort others. Receiving comfort from our brothers and sisters should be a source of great encouragement to us however, many of us have had just the opposite experience. Words intended by our brothers and sisters in Christ to strengthen us, haven’t encouraged us at all, instead, our burden has increased.

Think of some of the comfort you’ve heard offered to someone in trial. “It could be worse.” “God needed him more than you.” “I’m praying for you.” “I know the right person is out there for you somewhere, just be patient.” “When I finally stopped wanting _______ [you fill in the blank], that’s when God gave it to me.” “It’s not as bad as…” “You need to repent of your sin and then you’ll be healed.” “God is faithful, He won’t give you more than you can handle.” “My brother-in-law’s cousin went to a clinic in _______ [you fill in the blank] and she got well. I’ll find out the name of the clinic for you.” “If you just have enough faith, your trial will go away.” “Trust God, He works everything together for good.”
God is the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort (2 Cor. 1:3), but not all the comfort we get (or give) is genuine comfort. Therefore, it’s helpful to distinguish which kind of comfort we have received when others offer solace to us.
I would like to suggest that splitting comfort into 3 different categories can help us respond to comfort appropriately.

Category 1: False comfort.

False comfort seems to make assumptions such as:

• Comfort is found in better circumstances.
• Comfort is found in anticipating a lessening of pain or the end of the trial.
• Comfort is found in the knowledge that things could be worse than they are.
• If I understand ‘why,’ the trial won’t be as painful.

The goal of false comfort is to make you feel better or to make painful feelings go away.
Examples of false comfort might include: “It could be worse.” “God needed him more than you.” “I know the right person is out there for you somewhere, just be patient.” “It’s not as bad as…” “My brother-in-law’s cousin went to a clinic in _______ [you fill in the blank] and she got well. I’ll find out the name of the clinic for you.”
Although on some occasions false comfort may temporarily lift our burden, false comfort falls far short of genuine comfort. In many cases, false comfort fails to provide any comfort at all, and in some situations, false comfort increases the burden of suffering. False comfort is not truly comforting.

Category 2: The comfort of Job’s comforters.

Job’s comforters believe that suffering is a result of personal sin. Thus, if you will repent of your sin, your suffering will end.
Job’s comforters seem to make assumptions such as:

• Bad things only happen as a result of wrongdoing.
• If you do right, nothing bad will happen to you.
• Doing righteous works will result in an improved situation. God can be controlled by righteous works.
• Figure out what you did wrong, repent, and the suffering will end.

Examples of comfort from Job’s comforters might include: “When I finally stopped wanting _______ [you fill in the blank], that’s when God gave it to me.” “You need to repent of your sin and then you’ll be healed.” “If you just have enough faith, your trial will go away.”
While some of what Job’s comforters say may be true, it is certainly not true in all situations for all people. Additionally, it seems that Job’s comforters have the same goal as those who offer false comfort – hope is found in the trial or pain being removed. As with category 1, the comfort of Job’s comforters is not truly comforting.
I would propose that comfort given with the goal of simply removing pain, while spoken out of genuine kindness, is nevertheless inferior to the comfort our loving Savior would like for us to offer. My reasons for believing such comfort to be inferior are because 2 Corinthians 1 would lead me to conclude that genuine comfort is intended to strengthen us to endure (vs. 6) and equip us to praise God (vs. 3). Comfort intended to do this would be my third category of comfort. I’ll explore this more in my next post. Ironically however, even when we receive genuine comfort we sometimes fail to be comforted. Also in my next post I’ll explore why even genuine comfort sometimes isn’t comforting.

When Comfort Isn't Comforting - Part 2

In my last post (When Comfort Isn’t Comforting, Part 1), I explored two kinds of comfort which I believe are not truly comforting. Today I want to investigate why even genuine comfort fails to comfort as it should. As I said in my previous post, 2 Corinthians would lead me to conclude that genuine comfort is intended to strengthen us to endure (vs. 6) and equip us to praise God (vs. 3). This brings me to my third category of comfort – genuine comfort.

Category 3: Genuine comfort.

From 2 Cor. 1:3-12 it seems to me that genuine comfort includes things such as:

• Encouraging others to godly endurance (vs. 6).
• Encouraging reliance on God (vs. 9).
• Entering the trial with the sufferer by praying for God’s gracious favor for the sufferer (vs. 11).
• Encouraging the sufferer to remember God’s power being applied for the good of the sufferer (vs. 9).
• Encouraging the sufferer to trust in God for deliverance (vs. 10).

The result of genuine comfort should equip the sufferer to praise God.
Examples of genuine comfort might include: “I’m praying for you.” “God is faithful, He won’t give you more than you can handle.” “Trust God, He works everything together for good.”
Ironically, even when we receive genuine comfort we sometimes fail to be comforted. On such occasions we may reason that the comforter “just doesn’t understand” or that “he’s never been through what we’re going through.”
Certainly, others can be insensitive in their use of God’s word (as can we). Certainly others can offer comfort in a wrong way (as can we). So, we need to understand that there are different kinds of comfort, but at the same time, let’s be careful not to refuse comfort when we should accept it.
God clearly intended for others to be able to offer us comfort even if they have never gone through the suffering we are experiencing. Notice that in 1 Cor. 1:4 we’re told to comfort others in any trouble with the comfort we’ve received from God. If I have received God’s comfort in any trouble in my life, I can give genuine comfort to others. Why? Because it’s God’s comfort – not my comfort. I can comfort others in any trouble they might experience with God’s comfort.
If I’m going to be honest here, I have to admit that sometimes people give me God’s comfort and I refuse to be comforted by it. Why? Perhaps God’s comfort doesn’t comfort me because in my heart all I really want is relief. But God doesn’t spell comfort, R-E-L-I-E-F. God spells comfort, C-H-R-I-S-T.
That’s the thing about suffering. When I’m not comforted by God’s comfort it may be that an idol is ruling my heart. Suffering leaves my heart naked and bare. It reveals what I’m living for. Too often when the light is shown on my heart, it finds I’m in a brothel prostituting myself with an idol I believe will do something for me.
Maybe I’ve hopped in bed with ease.
Maybe I’ve hopped in bed with control.
Maybe I’ve hopped in bed with pleasure.
Maybe I’ve hopped in bed with prestige.
And when the vice squad of suffering comes and flips on the light in my heart, what is revealed is a tawdry affair with a false god.
And as that false god is torn from my grip through suffering, I mourn. I mourn – not over having forsaken the true and living God – but that I can’t have my idol any longer. And God’s comfort doesn’t comfort, it enrages.
But as we look for God’s comfort out of a genuine love for our Savior, we can expect it to be more than enough to meet the need. God’s comfort coming to God’s people who love God’s Son is so comforting that the comfort overflows (vs. 5). Through Christ our comfort overflows (vs. 5). The comfort is so abundant that it can’t be contained.
So, how should we respond to each type of comfort? Here are my suggestions. When given false comfort, use it as an opportunity to grow in graciousness. With Job’s comforters, examine yourself and see if there is any area in which you need to repent and change. With genuine comfort, be comforted and praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort.

Self Harm

Amy Baker, a biblical counselor with Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries, gives some perspective on the problem of cutting/self harm.  Lord willing, this will help us to care for those who are struggling in this area.  Check it out at: http://blogs.faithlafayette.org/counseling/2011/08/cutting-bleeding-the-pain-away/