Scripture And Counseling

Here is another great book by Dr. Robert Kellemen that I will be reading and doing a review of in the near future. Keep checking back for more teasers about this book.

How Christ Changes Lives - Book by Dr. Robert Kellemen

Just recently, I received a copy of Dr. Bob Kellemen's new book called Gospel-Centered Counseling: How Christ Changes Lives. I was so thankful to receive this book in the mail from Zondervan publishing. I look forward to having this as an ongoing resource for my counseling ministry. I am thankful for Dr. Kellemen's ministry and am pleased to post a few things about Dr. Kellemen and insights from his book over the next few months.

CLARUS 2013

Just a few more days until Desert Springs Church's annual theology conference called Clarus. The conference is completely sold out, but the sessions will be available in audio form on the church's website shortly after the conference. I am very excited for this conference and looking forward to sitting under the teaching of our very qualified speakers, Paul Tripp and Timothy Lane.

Clarus

Here is how DSC’s teaching elder, Pastor Ryan Kelly, explains what Clarus is:

Since 2005 Desert Springs Church (DSC) has held an annual conference weekend with a guest speaker and a focused topic. In 2008 we started giving it a name, Clarus—which is Latin for bright, clear, or radiant. We think that word aptly reflects our intentions with this conference: that God and His truth would be made more clear, more radiant to us, and more powerfully penetrating in us. To that end we set aside a full weekend every year for fellowship, singing, prayer, and instruction about God’s words and ways. In 2011, Clarus became a Regional Conference of The Gospel Coalition.

Clarus 2013

Ryan introduces this year’s theme:

God’s plan for our redemption is not merely to reconcile us to Himself, but to point us to those who share this reconciliation, the church. In Christ, Christians become part of a new family.

. . .Roughly 50 times the New Testament tells Christians to do something one to another. We sometimes refer to these as the one-anothers—e.g., love one another, serve one another, pray for one another, stir up one another, encourage one another, sing to one another, etc. Such commands simply cannot be done alone. We need partners. We need a partnership—which is really what “fellowship” is.

. . .To that end, we Christians meet regularly for worship and teaching; we read the Scriptures and pray, alone and in our families; we read good books and recommend them to others; we keep working at these relationships and our ministry to each other.

Dr. Tripp and Dr. Lane are not addressing a subject reserved for vocational ministers or even those involved in formal biblical counseling. They are addressing Christians with God’s Word concerning a most basic aspect of Christian discipleship: speaking the truth in love.

As Christians, we are to grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Peter 3:18), and we are to also grow together (Ephesians 4:15-16). We do not do this perfectly because we are sinful people in need of a Savior. We hurt those that we love the most; we isolate ourselves from others because we don’t want our hearts exposed; we may put on a “good face” when we are around others, but inside we are in utter turmoil; we worship our own kingdoms. Without living in true Christ-centered biblical community, we will wallow in our failures and sins and live as those who have no hope.

But, of course, God calls us to something greater. He calls us to Himself! He calls us through the truth of the gospel, the hope of lasting change and the grace of God. In tune with Matthew 6:33, we seek His kingdom and His righteousness and in so doing, Jesus knits His church together because we are seeking after Him, not our own interests. He exposes our hearts and our sin for the good of His children and for the glory of God. We then let others in because we see that we need Jesus and each other. As Dr. Tripp and Dr. Lane remind us, “change is a community project.”

At DSC, we have been greatly helped by Dr. Tripp and Dr. Lane’s resources.How People Change and Instruments In the Redeemer’s Hands have been used here to train our membership in biblical counseling. This fall, our Community Groups worked through Paul Tripp’s marriage DVD series, What Did You Expect?: Redeeming the Realities of Marriage.

On a personal note, as a lay-biblical counselor at DSC, I am very excited to be part of a church that upholds the primacy of the Word in the pulpit, but also as central to the life of every Christian. And I’m thankful for this annual conference and the blessing that it has been to our church. Having Dr. Lane and Dr. Tripp teach will serve as an invaluable resource and encouragement, not only for the DSC family, but also for those from around the Southwest region who will join us. My hope is that this conference will remind us of our great need of Jesus both individually but also corporately. Christ is indeed the head of his church. By God’s grace, we are praying for the church in the Southwest region to be encouraged in the all-important work of one-anothering the Word.

For more information on this year’s conference, including talk titles and registration, visit clarusabq.com.

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

Today's post is the last of this great six part series on the relationship between small group ministries and biblical counseling.  It has been such an encouragement to me to see the similarities between Desert Springs Church and these other churches in the vision of the small groups/community groups being the priority for doing life and ministry.  I hope these have been an encouragement to you as well.  Where do you fall in this topic?  Do you see the community group/small group/home group ministry as the first stop in seeking counsel/help in your lives?  All of God's children are counselors.  What kind of counsel are you offering?  What kind of counsel are you seeking?  God's Word is sufficient for our hurting and struggling hearts (2 Timothy 3:16).  As we seek to equip our leaders in biblical counseling, it is easy to see that some are intimidated by what they are being asked to do.  Being asked and trained to do something new is always intimidating.  I believe that over time as our leaders take steps in the practice of biblical counseling, they will see that God is faithful in His promises to use those in need of change to help those in need of change.  I also believe that the intimidation factor eases as we realize that it is God who is at work in and through us (Philippians 2:13) and when we see Him working in the lives of others right before our eyes, it is cause for great joy and praise to Him.  This is no different than when our leaders are teaching a passage of Scripture and 'light bulbs' go on and we see lives changed because the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).  Praise God for His Word and for the ministries that He calls us all to.  He began this good work and He will be the One to complete it.

My Story

I have been on staff at The Village Church since December of 2006. I started out as the Care Pastor and built out the Pastoral Care Department. This included grief related ministries, pre-marital mentoring ministry, and lay biblical counseling training, among other things. I did this for four-and-a-half years.
Recently I have transitioned to Home Groups Ministry, where I am an Associate Groups Pastor at the Flower Mound campus. I have had the opportunity to bring biblical counseling training and resources to Home Groups within the leadership and coaching structures.

Small Groups and Discipleship

Small Groups Ministry at The Village Church has been the main avenue for discipleship since the church was replanted nearly 10 years ago. As the church has grown, the need for solid Home Group leaders has become a consistent priority.
This is where biblical counseling has become paramount for Home Groups at The Village Church. The three primary areas most affected have been the New Leader Orientation, Home Group Coach training, and resourcing.

New Leader Orientation

The New Leader Orientation is the training we put new group leaders through. A bulk of that training is derived from a conglomerate of biblical counseling resources (Equipped to Counsel, Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, How People Change, etc.). This has given us the opportunity to early and often introduce our leaders to the world of biblical counseling while equipping to be gospel-centered, heart-focused biblical counselors in their Home Groups.
Also, this gets them familiar with how/when/why to leverage excellent biblical counseling resources provided through the Association of Biblical Counselors (with whom we have a partnership). Most of the leaders at this point have heard about biblical counseling from the stage, Recovery @ The Village, and the resources we use throughout the church.

Home Group Coach Training

Our Groups Ministry has been implementing a coaching structure for the past couple of years. Each coach is over anywhere from 3-to-5 group leaders. They pour into the leader in a variety of ways and in essence become an extension of the pastors and elders.
We train our coaches using the curriculum written by Michael Snetzer in our Recovery Ministry, which is a biblical counseling ministry that addresses repentance, suffering, and spiritual dynamics. We also take our coaches through eight weeks of biblical counseling training (furthered from the New Leader Orientation Training they have already received). Again, we leverage resources for our coaches through the partnership we have with the Association of Biblical Counselors.

Join the Conversation

• How could you implement small group and biblical counseling training ideas from the ministry at The Village Church?
• Of the six blog posts from six different churches, what principles do you want to implement as you build a biblical intersect between small group ministry and biblical counseling?
• In addition to what you learned from these six churches, what would you add? What would you recommend that other churches consider doing in order to build bridges between small group ministry and biblical counseling?

Biblical Counseling and Community Groups

The following is part 5 of this 6-part series on the relationship between biblical counseling and small groups that the Biblical Counseling Coalition is doing.  You can find all 5 blogs about this at Grace and Truth Blog.  Part 5 gives us a great example of what training small group leaders in biblical counseling can produce.  Desert Springs Church also believes that the Community Groups are the frontlines ministry of the church and will ultimately become the lifeblood of the church.  With this vision, equipping the leaders in biblical counseling makes perfect sense because the leaders are the first point of contact with the majority of DSC's members.  What a great place to start helping the hurting and loving on them as they see God transform their lives!  As DSC seeks to equip these leaders, not only in biblical counseling, but in leadership and discipleship, our hope is that the our members would be greatly strengthened and encouraged in the Word. 

Frontline Ministry

How much effort should we put in helping small group leaders be equipped in biblical counseling? That’s an excellent question. Here at Harvest Bible Chapel (HBC) we think it is a no brainer. In fact, churches that equip their small group leaders as front line biblical counselors are leading the way in transformational ministry.
I just finished training some amazing Small Group Leaders (SGLs) and Flock Leaders (FLs) at HBC in Chicago (FLs have 6-10 Small Group Leaders and groups under their care). We see the Small Group Ministry as the front lines for Biblical Soul Care (BSC) which is what we call our full-orbed counseling ministry. SGLs are the first responders to the hurting in our church.

Levels of Training

We have four levels of training at Harvest. The first level is for anyone who wants to be more intentional as a disciple and advocate for others by living out the “one anothers” of Scripture.
Level 2 training is for SGLs and we equip them with four critical skills and over twenty tools to assess, target, and counsel at the heart level. As the leaders went through the training they were deeply moved and encouraged as the paradigm of an expert versus an advocate model of care, and privacy versus community in counseling were challenged. Often more applied and impacting counseling happens in real-life scenarios like in small groups.
The idea of a church counseling ministry without equipping the small group leaders is just plain thinking hard—not smart. Small groups are the preventive arm of biblical soul care. They are the ground troops in a full assault on sin and suffering.

Components of Blended Training

As we went through the skills training, we provided what we call “what-if scenarios.” The 70-some participants came alive as they identified and traced fruit issues to the root level. Their confidence in God’s Word increased and their skill in applying the Word with truth and grace grew.
We also taught them about how to assess group maturity and how to move from superficial, authentic, transparent, to vulnerable. We set the bar at “uncommon community.” They were pumped because God sets that bar for us and they were learning what it looks like to attain it as Christ and the Gospel gains a central place in all we do.
SGLs were hungry to be taught the fundamentals of biblical soul care. They wanted to be better care-givers. We defined their role as facilitator, discipler, and counselor rolled into one. The high-impact SGL goes deep. He or she listens, observes, calls out, and encourages the group.
The intimidation factor of “who am I to tell them” started to melt as we went through the “one anothers” of Scripture together. We discussed humility, bearing each others’ burdens, and the tension and blend of truth and grace.
The SGLs had to take an inventory of their own integrity and walk as well as that of their group. We created a safe place to soberly consider closing the gap between our spoken theology and our lived theology. It was, in a word, beautiful.

Testimonials

Here are a few testimonies we’ve received:

• “Now I know what a healthy SG looks like.”
• “This should be a requirement for all SGLs.”
• “I am applying heart revealing questions and our group is already more transparent.”
• “I am overwhelmed, in a good way. I will spend the rest of my life learning and applying these teachings.”

I cannot overstate the importance of equipping small group leaders in biblical soul care and counseling. We are not a church with a counseling staff, or a counseling center. We are becoming a church of biblical soul care counselors.

Join the Conversation

How would your small group ministry be impacted if all your leaders were also trained in biblical soul care counseling?

Lessons Learned Series

Have you often thought, if only I had some tips for how to counsel from people who have done this longer?!  Well, guess what?  Here ya go.  At the Grace & Truth Blog, the staff with the Biblical Counseling Coalition have had a number of biblical counselors write about what lessons they have learned.  There are posts from five years as a counselor all the way to 40 years experience.  These are treats to read because there is one theme that resonates throughout all of them...the Gospel of Jesus.  It's all about Jesus.  The power of Jesus Christ and His Word changes lives.  I hope you enjoy the following post from Dr. Robert Smith who has over 40 years under his belt as a biblical counselor.  If you want to read all the other parts of this series from BCC, you can click on the link above and access them all.  God bless you!



Note from the BCC Staff: This is the eighth in a series of periodic posts by biblical counselors regarding what they have learned during their years of ministry in biblical counseling. Read Part One: Hayley Satrom: Reflections after Two Years, Part Two: Deepak Reju: Reflections after a Decade, Part Three: Bob Kellemen: Reflections after Thirty Years, Part Four: Howard Eyrich: Reflections after Forty Years, Part Five: Chris Boucher: Reflections after Five Years, Part Six: Jeremy Lelek: Reflections after Eleven Years, and Part Seven: Andy Farmer: Reflections after Eighteen Years. Today Dr. Robert Smith shares what he’s learned after forty years as a biblical counselor.

Still Learning

One of the things I have learned is that I have not really completed learning anything—thus I cannot say that I have really completely learned anything. Whatever I have been learning I am still learning. So this will really be what I am learning through 40 years of ministry.

Prioritizing My Time for God’s Glory

One of the late-in-life lessons I am learning is to carefully evaluate what I am doing. As an “old man,” I do not have many years left statistically. But I want these sunset years to be very productive. As I approached retirement this became my goal for this time of life. I am still learning what is the best way to use my time with the skills God has enabled me to learn.

The Importance of Scripture

One of the most important concepts I have been learning is the importance of Scripture memorization. At His temptation, Jesus defeated Satan by quoting Scripture to him. Since the devil is a roaring lion on the prowl for someone to destroy (1 Pet. 5:8), I need to have the Word of God at readiness at all times. It is called the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17) which I need to have out of the sheath and ready to use at all times. This is only possible through memorization.
Along with this is the superiority of the Bible over any of the benefits of this life—over money (Psalm 119:72), food (Psalm 119:103), sleep (Psalm 119:62,148), and even prosperity (Psalm 4:7).

Dependence Upon the Word as My Guide

Another thing I am continually learning is that I cannot depend on my emotions to guide me in important decisions. It must be the Word of God. My emotions are too affected by my sinful desires so that when I am up, I become overly optimistic about my abilities and over-schedule myself. When I am upset, I sinfully react when I should listen to learn. When I am down, I spend too much time on my feelings and self-pity. So, as I minister, my reliance must be on my relationship with God and His Word. It is a continual struggle to keep these as the authority rather than my feelings.

Careful, Compassionate Listening

Another important counseling concept that I am still working on is carefully listening to the counselee before presenting any biblical solutions. I must know what motivates the actions in order to help the total person. This requires listening and asking questions based on what the counselee tells me.
Of recent years, I am learning the importance of understanding the suffering the counselee experiences. Most of their current sinful actions result from their attempts to reduce the pains of suffering they have experienced. In the process, I must show compassion toward them in that suffering. Since I have not suffered as they have, one of the ways to show compassion is to listen to their story for the purpose of understanding their situation.

Learning from My Counselees

It has been interesting how the Lord brings me counselees that remind me of changes I need to make in my life. Because of this, more than once I have thanked the Lord for the person(s) sitting across from me. Many times I have had to admit that my mouth just said some things my ears need to hear.

I Need God’s Help

God’s help in counseling has been something I continually need and learn. More than once I have prayed a Nehemiah prayer in the middle of a counseling session. This comes from Nehemiah 2:2-5. The king asked Nehemiah what he needed after Nehemiah had told him his sad face was due to his city of origin being completely destroyed and in ruins. The short phrase in v. 4 is my guideline, “So I prayed to the God of heaven.”
There is no indication of Nehemiah kneeling to pray, holding up his hands in prayer, or even telling the king he was going to pray. It seems that the king asked the question, and while Nehemiah is taking a breath to answer, he is praying, for the next statement is his answer. I do that many times in counseling sessions and my prayer frequently is “Help?” And God does.

Focus on the Benefits of What I Can Do

Because this is referring to 40 years of ministry, that brings up the issue of aging. As the body ages it deteriorates due to the curse of sin. Rather than continuing to get stronger as it did in the first two or three decades, it then starts the slow decline of physical strength and ability. When younger, it was easy to think of aging as no big deal. But when age sets in it really is a big deal. The mind wants to do certain things but the body refuses. Life used to run seemingly unlimited—like the “Energizer Bunny”—on a couple of D batteries. Now the energy supply is reduced to one old, used AAA battery.
But what I am learning is that this helps me focus more on the benefits of what I can do than the limitations from what I cannot do. I have years of Bible study and memorization which are now rich resources in my teaching and counseling. They have produced a wisdom that is only based on God’s Word, not my intellectual skill. Not being able to do some physical things keeps my focus on the skills God has blessed me with in the spiritual and mental areas.

Not to Be Threatened by Change: Be Models of Change

Another major learning concept is to not be threatened when things change or when we are being replaced. We do not like to be replaced because it is easy for us to think we are irreplaceable. But young people come along and want to change things. That means our way of doing them is no longer satisfactory. So as we get older, we are in many ways gently moved aside. If we are honest that is good. The younger people are only doing what we did when we were young.
But being moved aside does not mean we are useless if we have been growing in godliness all our lives. With years of biblical change behind us when we reach the senior years, it should not be difficult for us to change. In fact, we can demonstrate the benefits of change to the younger people. We should be models of change.
All this is helped if I see the big picture of life and ministry rather than the everyday details. See change through the big picture.
Let me illustrate. When our church moved from traditional to contemporary music this was a big problem for me. My past training (some of which I should have challenged) made this a spiritual matter. But there was also the spiritual matter of submitting to my leaders and seeing the big picture of this change: this would enhance the outreach ministry of our church to which I was thoroughly committed. So I had to decide which was most important—my music preference or the outreach of our church. Many other factors were present, but seeing the big picture helped me understand and accept the music changes. Even though I haven’t made contemporary music my favorite, I see how it is enhancing our church outreach. Many of the words are actually Bible verses and passages so that is certainly God honoring.
There are many more lessons that I have been learning and I thank the Lord for the opportunities He has given to minister while I am learning them.

Join the Conversation

It has been said that God will use the events of our lives to humble us and that our role is to be responsive to God’s humbling and shaping process in our lives. How are you responding humbly to life’s lessons so that you grow personally and as a biblical counselor?