Cutting & Self-Injury - A Follow Up

I came across this article this morning and was reminded that I haven't had any follow up articles to my older post of Self Harm.  This is a really good article using Psalm 23 as the backdrop.  Author, Jay Younts, captures the truth of God's protection and presence promised in Psalm 23 that can help anyone that is caught in the sin of Self Harm or Cutting.  This blog post comes from the Association of Biblical Counselors.  There are great resources and blogs from well respected Biblical Counselors.  Please comment on this post.  I would love to know how any of you have dealt with this problem and what tips you might be able to give.


Self-Injury and Psalm 23  By: Jay Younts
One day two parents bring a fragile soul to your office and tell you she has been caught cutting. They want you to help their daughter stop. But as you look at the daughter all you see is painful detachment. She has no real desire to stop cutting as long as the pain within haunts her soul and entices her to seek relief from a razor blade.
She knows the cutting is wrong, but she is beyond caring about right and wrong. She will take whatever relief she can get, even if it is only for a few moments, as she is distracted by the pain of the razor and the resulting rush of endorphins. For her, the bottom line is that, for a moment, she is distracted, free from her relational pain.
Self-injury, in its various forms—such as cutting—is an attempt at self-healing. Does that sound like an oxymoron? It should, because it is. But the cutter has a rationale for cutting. Deep within the soul of the cutter, pain and emptiness reign. She feels alone and embittered by the unfairness of life and her own hurt. The cutter is persuaded that no one understands. If God is acknowledged at all, he is viewed as distant and unable to stop the gnawing pain within.
Self-injury knows no social or economic bounds. From the lonely, hurting teenager to the empty world of Princess Diana, self-injury offers a momentary escape from relational agony. Here is one way to define the sin of self-injury:
Self-injury is a form of self-inflicted physical injury performed in order to assuage the relational hurt resulting from broken relationships with God and others. Thus, self-injury is not primarily a cry for help, but a desperate attempt at self-healing when relationships with others have seemingly failed.
The underlying sin of self-injury is turning to self for relief rather than to God. The cutter tries to accomplish for herself something that only God can do. Sin’s deceitfulness lures the self-injurer on. The razor continues to promise what it cannot deliver. The song “Numb,” by Linkin Park, describes the pain of a cutter, a teenage daughter alienated from her mother, this way:
I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.
And I know I may end up failing too.
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you.
So what can you do to help self-injurers that God brings to you? Both Mark Shaw and Ed Welch have written helpful booklets that anyone counseling self-injurers should read. You, of course, will do a thorough job of data-gathering, looking for the underlying issues that brought things to this point. In addition, allow me to suggest adding Psalm 23 to your resources in dealing with self-injurers. This psalm describes with amazing insight the world of the self-injurer. Let’s take a brief look at each verse and how it applies. I will make the comments specific to cutting, but the principles apply to all forms of self-injury.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
This strikes right at the center of the pain of the cutter. From a relational perspective, the cutter believes that she lacks everything. She believes that if God is indeed her shepherd, then he must be doing a terrible job. Functionally, she knows little of the care of God. He is not a loving shepherd, but a tyrant. She may not voice these words directly to you or to her parents, but that is where she is functionally. Your task, counselor, is to bring her back to God’s reality. This verse connects to reality from God’s perspective.
“How do I begin to explain God’s reality?” you may ask. That is an excellent and fundamental question. The answer to that question is often referred to as one’s worldview, although we are looking only at the “short version” here.
We are here on the planet to do what he has called us to do. Thus, through the promises and work of Christ we do, in fact, have all that we need. We lack nothing. Our cutter is viewing life from her own perspective, from her perception of her needs. This way of thinking is always a recipe for disaster. Some people embark on a lifelong quest to meet their own needs. They chase the illusive dream; to achieve it they may become workaholics or engage in some other vain pursuit. Cutters don’t wait that long. Their pain drives them to seek relief NOW. The goal of your counseling should be to bring the self-injurer to embrace the reality of this first verse of Psalm 23.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
These two verses speak of the blessed reality that verse one proclaims. If God is our shepherd, then he does indeed refresh our souls. He does guide well. In his care we indeed are surrounded by green pastures. But the cutter denies this reality and sees life only from her own lonely perspective. She is living by sight and not be faith. So, as you work through the pain of her life, you have this blessed hope to set before her: salvation, true rest, is found in coming to Christ (Matthew 11:28-30). Christ alone, through his word alone, can make sense of this young girl’s life. To be healed, she needs to see with eyes of faith. Inner healing must begin for the physical wounds to heal fully; otherwise the wounds will beckon to be opened again.
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
This is where you can begin; this is where your cutter can identify deeply with the written word. She knows all about the dark valley of her life. The psalmist does not gloss over this dark reality. The self-injurer lives in this valley. The only light she sees is the brief reprieve of the razor blade. Start here, and help her see that her view of reality is at odds with God’s reality. Christ was tempted at every point that she was tempted, but he never reached for the sharp edge of the blade. Instead, he turned to the joy of submitting to his heavenly Father. Because of his death, your cutter can do this as well. She no longer has to fear the dark evils of her life. God can bring comfort to her darkest fears.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
This is the reality that awaits your counselee as she turns away from her fears—fears driven by a flawed, sinful perspective that says she is alone and there is no one to help with her hurt, pain and fear. As she is able to embrace the truth of these last two verses, she will be able to rest in the truth that God is her Shepherd, and she has all that she needs in him.
As many commentators have said, Psalm 23 is for the living, not the dead. Using compassion, skillful listening, insightful questions, diligent prayer, and courageously proclamation of God’s sufficient Word, you can bring hope and healing to the cutter.

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

Today's post is the last of this great six part series on the relationship between small group ministries and biblical counseling.  It has been such an encouragement to me to see the similarities between Desert Springs Church and these other churches in the vision of the small groups/community groups being the priority for doing life and ministry.  I hope these have been an encouragement to you as well.  Where do you fall in this topic?  Do you see the community group/small group/home group ministry as the first stop in seeking counsel/help in your lives?  All of God's children are counselors.  What kind of counsel are you offering?  What kind of counsel are you seeking?  God's Word is sufficient for our hurting and struggling hearts (2 Timothy 3:16).  As we seek to equip our leaders in biblical counseling, it is easy to see that some are intimidated by what they are being asked to do.  Being asked and trained to do something new is always intimidating.  I believe that over time as our leaders take steps in the practice of biblical counseling, they will see that God is faithful in His promises to use those in need of change to help those in need of change.  I also believe that the intimidation factor eases as we realize that it is God who is at work in and through us (Philippians 2:13) and when we see Him working in the lives of others right before our eyes, it is cause for great joy and praise to Him.  This is no different than when our leaders are teaching a passage of Scripture and 'light bulbs' go on and we see lives changed because the Word of God is living and active (Hebrews 4:12).  Praise God for His Word and for the ministries that He calls us all to.  He began this good work and He will be the One to complete it.

My Story

I have been on staff at The Village Church since December of 2006. I started out as the Care Pastor and built out the Pastoral Care Department. This included grief related ministries, pre-marital mentoring ministry, and lay biblical counseling training, among other things. I did this for four-and-a-half years.
Recently I have transitioned to Home Groups Ministry, where I am an Associate Groups Pastor at the Flower Mound campus. I have had the opportunity to bring biblical counseling training and resources to Home Groups within the leadership and coaching structures.

Small Groups and Discipleship

Small Groups Ministry at The Village Church has been the main avenue for discipleship since the church was replanted nearly 10 years ago. As the church has grown, the need for solid Home Group leaders has become a consistent priority.
This is where biblical counseling has become paramount for Home Groups at The Village Church. The three primary areas most affected have been the New Leader Orientation, Home Group Coach training, and resourcing.

New Leader Orientation

The New Leader Orientation is the training we put new group leaders through. A bulk of that training is derived from a conglomerate of biblical counseling resources (Equipped to Counsel, Instruments in the Redeemers Hands, How People Change, etc.). This has given us the opportunity to early and often introduce our leaders to the world of biblical counseling while equipping to be gospel-centered, heart-focused biblical counselors in their Home Groups.
Also, this gets them familiar with how/when/why to leverage excellent biblical counseling resources provided through the Association of Biblical Counselors (with whom we have a partnership). Most of the leaders at this point have heard about biblical counseling from the stage, Recovery @ The Village, and the resources we use throughout the church.

Home Group Coach Training

Our Groups Ministry has been implementing a coaching structure for the past couple of years. Each coach is over anywhere from 3-to-5 group leaders. They pour into the leader in a variety of ways and in essence become an extension of the pastors and elders.
We train our coaches using the curriculum written by Michael Snetzer in our Recovery Ministry, which is a biblical counseling ministry that addresses repentance, suffering, and spiritual dynamics. We also take our coaches through eight weeks of biblical counseling training (furthered from the New Leader Orientation Training they have already received). Again, we leverage resources for our coaches through the partnership we have with the Association of Biblical Counselors.

Join the Conversation

• How could you implement small group and biblical counseling training ideas from the ministry at The Village Church?
• Of the six blog posts from six different churches, what principles do you want to implement as you build a biblical intersect between small group ministry and biblical counseling?
• In addition to what you learned from these six churches, what would you add? What would you recommend that other churches consider doing in order to build bridges between small group ministry and biblical counseling?

Biblical Counseling and Community Groups

The following is part 5 of this 6-part series on the relationship between biblical counseling and small groups that the Biblical Counseling Coalition is doing.  You can find all 5 blogs about this at Grace and Truth Blog.  Part 5 gives us a great example of what training small group leaders in biblical counseling can produce.  Desert Springs Church also believes that the Community Groups are the frontlines ministry of the church and will ultimately become the lifeblood of the church.  With this vision, equipping the leaders in biblical counseling makes perfect sense because the leaders are the first point of contact with the majority of DSC's members.  What a great place to start helping the hurting and loving on them as they see God transform their lives!  As DSC seeks to equip these leaders, not only in biblical counseling, but in leadership and discipleship, our hope is that the our members would be greatly strengthened and encouraged in the Word. 

Frontline Ministry

How much effort should we put in helping small group leaders be equipped in biblical counseling? That’s an excellent question. Here at Harvest Bible Chapel (HBC) we think it is a no brainer. In fact, churches that equip their small group leaders as front line biblical counselors are leading the way in transformational ministry.
I just finished training some amazing Small Group Leaders (SGLs) and Flock Leaders (FLs) at HBC in Chicago (FLs have 6-10 Small Group Leaders and groups under their care). We see the Small Group Ministry as the front lines for Biblical Soul Care (BSC) which is what we call our full-orbed counseling ministry. SGLs are the first responders to the hurting in our church.

Levels of Training

We have four levels of training at Harvest. The first level is for anyone who wants to be more intentional as a disciple and advocate for others by living out the “one anothers” of Scripture.
Level 2 training is for SGLs and we equip them with four critical skills and over twenty tools to assess, target, and counsel at the heart level. As the leaders went through the training they were deeply moved and encouraged as the paradigm of an expert versus an advocate model of care, and privacy versus community in counseling were challenged. Often more applied and impacting counseling happens in real-life scenarios like in small groups.
The idea of a church counseling ministry without equipping the small group leaders is just plain thinking hard—not smart. Small groups are the preventive arm of biblical soul care. They are the ground troops in a full assault on sin and suffering.

Components of Blended Training

As we went through the skills training, we provided what we call “what-if scenarios.” The 70-some participants came alive as they identified and traced fruit issues to the root level. Their confidence in God’s Word increased and their skill in applying the Word with truth and grace grew.
We also taught them about how to assess group maturity and how to move from superficial, authentic, transparent, to vulnerable. We set the bar at “uncommon community.” They were pumped because God sets that bar for us and they were learning what it looks like to attain it as Christ and the Gospel gains a central place in all we do.
SGLs were hungry to be taught the fundamentals of biblical soul care. They wanted to be better care-givers. We defined their role as facilitator, discipler, and counselor rolled into one. The high-impact SGL goes deep. He or she listens, observes, calls out, and encourages the group.
The intimidation factor of “who am I to tell them” started to melt as we went through the “one anothers” of Scripture together. We discussed humility, bearing each others’ burdens, and the tension and blend of truth and grace.
The SGLs had to take an inventory of their own integrity and walk as well as that of their group. We created a safe place to soberly consider closing the gap between our spoken theology and our lived theology. It was, in a word, beautiful.

Testimonials

Here are a few testimonies we’ve received:

• “Now I know what a healthy SG looks like.”
• “This should be a requirement for all SGLs.”
• “I am applying heart revealing questions and our group is already more transparent.”
• “I am overwhelmed, in a good way. I will spend the rest of my life learning and applying these teachings.”

I cannot overstate the importance of equipping small group leaders in biblical soul care and counseling. We are not a church with a counseling staff, or a counseling center. We are becoming a church of biblical soul care counselors.

Join the Conversation

How would your small group ministry be impacted if all your leaders were also trained in biblical soul care counseling?

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

Good morning!  Today's post is a re-post of the BCC's Grace and Truth Blog's series on the relationship between small groups and biblical counseling.  It is such an encouragement to read about other churches that have the same vision and practice as DSC in regards to our Community Groups.  Biblical counseling is an all God's people, all the time paradigm.  By God's grace, He is the one effecting change in a person and He chooses to use broken vessels to accomplish His will.  Praise God that it is not up to me to change a person!  I get to watch God change the person and that is an incredible thing to observe.  God is good and active in the lives of His people!  Again, these posts are at the Biblical Counseling Coalition's blog, Grace and Truth.  Enjoy...

The Ministry of the Word in Everyday Life

Our church, Covenant Fellowship Church, started as a church plant in 1984 with a team of a couple of dozen adults and children relocating to the Philadelphia suburbs. We are part of the Sovereign Grace Ministries family of churches. The church currently has a membership of about 1,500 people. We are committed to a pastoral care model built on Gospel centrality and biblical counseling. The pastors of the church care for the spiritual needs of the people in the church in preaching and teaching, in their personal ministry, and in creating structures of care for the church. We are committed to doing personal biblical counseling as a significant and ongoing part of our ministry responsibilities.
To be committed to care through biblical counseling, however, doesn’t mean that the pastors are the designated counselors within the walls of the church. While the call of the pastor presumes that he has gifts, skills, and experience in the care of people, biblical counseling doesn’t succeed or fail on the expertise of the one giving it. The emphasis isn’t on the gifts of the counselor, or the fact that counsel is coming “from the pastor,” but on the power and sufficiency of God’s Word. Therefore, we see counseling in a broad sense first—as ministry of the Word among ordinary people in everyday life.

Community Group Ministry

Our basic structure for ‘counseling,’ as understood above, is our Community Group Ministry. Small groups have been an integral part of our church since its inception. In fact, for the fifteen years that the church met in rented facilities, small groups were the sustaining context of the church on a day-to-day basis. That orientation remains very much who we are to this day even though we now occupy a building and have the programs and ministries that a building allows a church to provide.
Our Community Groups (as they are now called) have some features that make them distinct from the way small groups are structured in many churches. For one thing, the Community Groups are the primary context where members of the church receive the care provided by pastoral ministry. While our pastoral staff is dedicated to availability, responsiveness, and counsel to any member, it is neither biblical, practical, nor ultimately helpful for the members of the church to depend on personal pastoral meetings for care. People need the effect of the gifts the Holy Spirit distributes throughout the body of believers. We all need the ‘one another ministry’ that is embedded in biblical community. And we need the shared experiences of suffering, weakness, and change that are essential to the maturity and witness of the church. The Community Groups serve that function in a primary way at Covenant Fellowship Church.
Community Groups are so essential to who we are as a local church that they are an essential expression of membership in the church. In other words, to be a member of Covenant Fellowship Church, a person is committed to attending and actively participating in a Community Group. If a person is not involved in a Community Group they are not positioned to receive the pastoral care that the church has promised to them. As pastors, we are committed to the care of God’s people given to us through membership and seek to help anyone who is not participating in a Community Group find a way to experience this necessary care. Simply put, a person’s care from the church, whether it is meeting practical needs or addressing spiritual struggles, is intended to be centered in the familiar and supportive environment of the Community Group.
Our Community Group leaders, therefore, are more than just facilitators of the small group. They carry a responsibility to ensure that every member of the church has access to the practical care of the church and that the pastors are kept abreast of the needs and challenges the people in the church face. Our Community Group leaders are the primary laypersons who have personal ministry responsibility in the church. Prior to becoming Community Group leaders, they will have demonstrated a mature ability to offer counsel to others as brothers and sisters in Christ, will have gone through our general discipleship and leadership training courses, and will have had specific training in the responsibilities of Community Group leadership. Small group leaders meet as groups with pastors once per month for the purpose of their own care and for ongoing training in personal ministry.

The Personal Ministry of the Word

But we are not looking for the Community Group leaders to ‘do the counseling.’ We have sought to teach the church that ‘counseling’ is one expression of the personal ministry of God’s Word in community; alongside discipleship, intercessory prayer, biblical fellowship, wise advice, confession, encouragement and shared study of God’s Word. It is in the multiple layers of relational ministry that counseling occurs.
For example, if someone is struggling with acute anxiety, he or she may meet with a pastor who will help position them through formal counseling for change. But the pastor will involve the Community Group leaders, friends, and even at times a brother or sister who has struggled with the same issue to create a network of prayer, support, and counsel for that person. Since we view change as a work of God that takes place over time, this ‘community based counseling’ provides the insight, support and accountability to help a person with lasting change over time.
It is the cooperative work between creative pastoral engagement and enduring community fellowship that serves as our model of biblical counseling in the church.

Join the Conversation

What could you apply to your ministry from the way Covenant Fellowship Church blends creative pastoral engagement and enduring community fellowship?

Community Groups and Biblical Counseling

I am very excited about a new series that is being done at the Biblical Counseling Coalition's Grace and Truth Blog about the relationship between small groups and biblical counseling.  Today's post is Part 3 of this series, which I say 'Amen' to and hope that it is an encouragement for others to see that small groups and biblical counseling go hand-in-hand.  Since Desert Springs Church's vision is that the Community Groups become the primary place for life and ministry, biblical counseling is intended to happen mostly within those groups.  There is still need for more formal settings for counseling, but CG leaders are actively being equipped for the challenges of counseling members of their groups as needs arise.  God's children are all counselors.  We all give advice, have been asked for our opinion on something, or have sought to correct someone that was wrong.  We are all counselors.  The question is, what kind of counselor are you?  When you give counsel, whose counsel are you offering...God's or your own?  The biblical counselor seeks to offer God's counsel that is found in His Word by the power of the Holy Spirit.  As DSC steers all of the ministries toward the CGs, it will be very exciting to see God move in the lives of our members and help them have a biblical perspective on their problems.  By God's grace, this is happening and God is glorified.  You can read Parts 1 & 2 at the Grace and Truth Blog link that is hightlighted above.  I hope you enjoy these posts.





Biblical Counseling and Growth Group Leading

By God’s grace the pastoral staff of University Reformed Church envisions biblical counseling as an important part of our overall discipling ministry. One of my goals as Director of Counseling Ministries is to help create a culture of biblical counseling at URC. This includes training elders and growth group leaders in the basics of biblical counseling. Over a year ago, Associate Pastor Ben Falconer and I teamed up to plan biblical counseling training for the URC “shepherds.” We have done several training sessions to help them incorporate a biblical counseling model into the discipling they do as elders and Growth Group leaders. One session in particular was to help growth group leaders use biblical counseling questions in leading a Bible study.

URC’s Vision for Discipling and Growth Groups

URC’s vision has been well-captured in the words of Associate Pastor, Ben Falconer:

University Reformed Church is… a Bible-teaching and praying church, ministering to our neighbors, the campus, the nations, and the unreached peoples of the world. We attempt to accomplish this mission in large part through our two principal ministries: our Sunday services and our Growth Groups. At URC, Growth Groups are the primary place where Biblical Community is fostered. This means that Growth Groups are thoroughly biblical in content (the Bible is the regular source of study), nature (believers pray for, honor, serve, teach, encourage, meet with, and love one another), and purpose (our primary goal is that disciples of Jesus Christ are raised up for the glory of God).

In the summer of 2010, I was able to do a ministry project for my CCEF Introduction to Biblical Counseling Certificate on URC shepherd training. Here is how Ben and I sought to align biblical counseling and Growth Group ministry. The purpose of this training is “to equip URC shepherds to glorify God by making lifelong disciples through the gospel.” This includes:

• Knowing and caring for each individual member by watching over their welfare.
• Intentionally leading people into Christian maturity (discipling).
• Being available to pray for and help people work through sins and struggles (counseling).

Components of Our Training

The components of the training include:
1. Scripture Study:

• Jeremiah 17: 5-15—God’s model of change
• Hebrews: the ministry of parakaleo

2. Training and Practice in Biblical Counseling:

• Learning what biblical counseling is and is not
• Learning a vision for effective small groups
• Learning the Three Trees model and the questions that go along with it
• Learning the Love-Know-Speak-Do model of counseling
• Doing case studies, self and peer counseling, role plays, and group leading exercise

3. Various Biblical Counseling Readings:

• Five Advantages of Church-Based Counseling by Deepak Reju
• Counseling and Discipleship by Deepak Reju
• Some Thoughts on How to Provide Long-Term Pastoral Care by Tim Lane
• Why Small Groups? by C. J. Mahaney and others
• Leadership Training: Shepherding Leaders to Shepherd the Flock by Tony Giles

Preventative Counseling

Several of the questions/concerns we received after our first session related to getting practice in using biblical counseling preventatively (discipling) and not just correctively (counseling). This made a lot of sense because most ministry (especially by Growth Group leaders) will be preventative discipling rather than corrective counseling. So we designed one of the sessions to directly teach/model how to use biblical counseling questions in leading a Growth Group where you are studying Scripture and sharing together as a group. Ben already teaches growth group leaders how to lead an inductive Bible study. We added biblical counseling questions to supplement this and help bring the Bible study into the trenches of real life for people in the group. We chose to do a study on 1 Thessalonians 5: 12-18 incorporating both inductive study questions and biblical counseling questions. An outline of our study is provided below:

The passage we’re looking at comes from the section on Christian community: how do we live with one another in such a way that the body is built up and God is glorified? What hinders community? How can we overcome these hindrances? The passage contains several commands that give us specific directions for living in community.

Read 1 Thessalonians 5: 12-18 and ask:

• What do you notice about these verses?
• What are the main commands?
• What does it mean to respect our spiritual leaders? Esteem them in love?
• What do you see in verses 14-15?
• Can you think of examples of admonishing the idle, encouraging the fainthearted, and helping the weak? Are you involved in these kinds of activities?
• How would you summarize verses 16-18? What would it look like to do these things in real life?

1. Which one of these commands is most challenging for you? Why? Have several people share and discuss as a group what makes it hard to obey the commands. The purpose here is to get people talking and to see which command(s) get the most attention.
2. Choose a command that several people thought was hard to obey. Ask: Can anyone think of a specific time when you struggled to obey this command? What was going on in your life/day at that time? What stresses or blessings were you experiencing? How did your circumstances influence your obedience or disobedience? How did you respond? What do you think motivated your response (desires, fears, beliefs)? Ask another person the same set of questions and discuss. Point out how our shortsightedness and wandering desires get in the way of building community.
3. In 1 Thessalonians 5: 9-11 Paul gives us great motivation to build strong Christian community. How would you summarize Paul’s encouraging words? How would keeping these words in mind help us overcome our resistance to community building?
4. Let’s go to God in prayer right now and confess the ways we have hindered community. Confess not only actions but also underlying heart issues.
5. What is one way you could build community this week? How will the truth of 1 Thessalonians 5:9-11 encourage and motivate you?

The Way Forward

While we have sought to provide good training to Growth Group leaders, this is still in its infancy. There is much work to do to ensure that biblical counseling and Growth Group leading are aligned and that they reinforce each other. This year we plan to do more training, especially for Growth Group leaders, in leading inductive/biblical counseling type Bible studies.

Join the Conversation

What can you apply to your ministry from the way University Reformed Church relates their small group ministry and biblical counseling?

Outdoor Photography

One of my favorite websites is Outdoor Photographer.  I have been downloading their desktop picture for my screen background.  It's free and well worth the time to save it to your computer.  Here is a taste of November's picture below:



Two of my dreams are to be a full time Biblical Counselor and to be a Professional Photographer.  Might not happen, but I can dream can't I?  Here are some pics that I love from this website and others.  I hope you enjoy them as much as I do.


Sperry Peak, Cascade Range, Washington
Photographer: Randal R. Ketchem

Rio Grande Gorge, New Mexico

Photographer: Scott Pilgreen

Going Green

Great Smoky Mountains National Park, Tennessee

Photographer: John Marshall

Dry Falls, Highlands, North Carolina

Photographer: Dave Allen

Owl Creek Pass, Colorado

Photographer: Bryan Maltais

These pictures are only the tip of the iceberg of what is out there.  I took all of these images from Outdoor Photographer's website.  If you are interested in outdoor photography and want to enter contests, Outdoor Photographer has numerous photography contests running throughout the year.  You can find these and more at: Outdoor Photographer

Lessons Learned Series

Have you often thought, if only I had some tips for how to counsel from people who have done this longer?!  Well, guess what?  Here ya go.  At the Grace & Truth Blog, the staff with the Biblical Counseling Coalition have had a number of biblical counselors write about what lessons they have learned.  There are posts from five years as a counselor all the way to 40 years experience.  These are treats to read because there is one theme that resonates throughout all of them...the Gospel of Jesus.  It's all about Jesus.  The power of Jesus Christ and His Word changes lives.  I hope you enjoy the following post from Dr. Robert Smith who has over 40 years under his belt as a biblical counselor.  If you want to read all the other parts of this series from BCC, you can click on the link above and access them all.  God bless you!



Note from the BCC Staff: This is the eighth in a series of periodic posts by biblical counselors regarding what they have learned during their years of ministry in biblical counseling. Read Part One: Hayley Satrom: Reflections after Two Years, Part Two: Deepak Reju: Reflections after a Decade, Part Three: Bob Kellemen: Reflections after Thirty Years, Part Four: Howard Eyrich: Reflections after Forty Years, Part Five: Chris Boucher: Reflections after Five Years, Part Six: Jeremy Lelek: Reflections after Eleven Years, and Part Seven: Andy Farmer: Reflections after Eighteen Years. Today Dr. Robert Smith shares what he’s learned after forty years as a biblical counselor.

Still Learning

One of the things I have learned is that I have not really completed learning anything—thus I cannot say that I have really completely learned anything. Whatever I have been learning I am still learning. So this will really be what I am learning through 40 years of ministry.

Prioritizing My Time for God’s Glory

One of the late-in-life lessons I am learning is to carefully evaluate what I am doing. As an “old man,” I do not have many years left statistically. But I want these sunset years to be very productive. As I approached retirement this became my goal for this time of life. I am still learning what is the best way to use my time with the skills God has enabled me to learn.

The Importance of Scripture

One of the most important concepts I have been learning is the importance of Scripture memorization. At His temptation, Jesus defeated Satan by quoting Scripture to him. Since the devil is a roaring lion on the prowl for someone to destroy (1 Pet. 5:8), I need to have the Word of God at readiness at all times. It is called the sword of the Spirit (Eph. 6:17) which I need to have out of the sheath and ready to use at all times. This is only possible through memorization.
Along with this is the superiority of the Bible over any of the benefits of this life—over money (Psalm 119:72), food (Psalm 119:103), sleep (Psalm 119:62,148), and even prosperity (Psalm 4:7).

Dependence Upon the Word as My Guide

Another thing I am continually learning is that I cannot depend on my emotions to guide me in important decisions. It must be the Word of God. My emotions are too affected by my sinful desires so that when I am up, I become overly optimistic about my abilities and over-schedule myself. When I am upset, I sinfully react when I should listen to learn. When I am down, I spend too much time on my feelings and self-pity. So, as I minister, my reliance must be on my relationship with God and His Word. It is a continual struggle to keep these as the authority rather than my feelings.

Careful, Compassionate Listening

Another important counseling concept that I am still working on is carefully listening to the counselee before presenting any biblical solutions. I must know what motivates the actions in order to help the total person. This requires listening and asking questions based on what the counselee tells me.
Of recent years, I am learning the importance of understanding the suffering the counselee experiences. Most of their current sinful actions result from their attempts to reduce the pains of suffering they have experienced. In the process, I must show compassion toward them in that suffering. Since I have not suffered as they have, one of the ways to show compassion is to listen to their story for the purpose of understanding their situation.

Learning from My Counselees

It has been interesting how the Lord brings me counselees that remind me of changes I need to make in my life. Because of this, more than once I have thanked the Lord for the person(s) sitting across from me. Many times I have had to admit that my mouth just said some things my ears need to hear.

I Need God’s Help

God’s help in counseling has been something I continually need and learn. More than once I have prayed a Nehemiah prayer in the middle of a counseling session. This comes from Nehemiah 2:2-5. The king asked Nehemiah what he needed after Nehemiah had told him his sad face was due to his city of origin being completely destroyed and in ruins. The short phrase in v. 4 is my guideline, “So I prayed to the God of heaven.”
There is no indication of Nehemiah kneeling to pray, holding up his hands in prayer, or even telling the king he was going to pray. It seems that the king asked the question, and while Nehemiah is taking a breath to answer, he is praying, for the next statement is his answer. I do that many times in counseling sessions and my prayer frequently is “Help?” And God does.

Focus on the Benefits of What I Can Do

Because this is referring to 40 years of ministry, that brings up the issue of aging. As the body ages it deteriorates due to the curse of sin. Rather than continuing to get stronger as it did in the first two or three decades, it then starts the slow decline of physical strength and ability. When younger, it was easy to think of aging as no big deal. But when age sets in it really is a big deal. The mind wants to do certain things but the body refuses. Life used to run seemingly unlimited—like the “Energizer Bunny”—on a couple of D batteries. Now the energy supply is reduced to one old, used AAA battery.
But what I am learning is that this helps me focus more on the benefits of what I can do than the limitations from what I cannot do. I have years of Bible study and memorization which are now rich resources in my teaching and counseling. They have produced a wisdom that is only based on God’s Word, not my intellectual skill. Not being able to do some physical things keeps my focus on the skills God has blessed me with in the spiritual and mental areas.

Not to Be Threatened by Change: Be Models of Change

Another major learning concept is to not be threatened when things change or when we are being replaced. We do not like to be replaced because it is easy for us to think we are irreplaceable. But young people come along and want to change things. That means our way of doing them is no longer satisfactory. So as we get older, we are in many ways gently moved aside. If we are honest that is good. The younger people are only doing what we did when we were young.
But being moved aside does not mean we are useless if we have been growing in godliness all our lives. With years of biblical change behind us when we reach the senior years, it should not be difficult for us to change. In fact, we can demonstrate the benefits of change to the younger people. We should be models of change.
All this is helped if I see the big picture of life and ministry rather than the everyday details. See change through the big picture.
Let me illustrate. When our church moved from traditional to contemporary music this was a big problem for me. My past training (some of which I should have challenged) made this a spiritual matter. But there was also the spiritual matter of submitting to my leaders and seeing the big picture of this change: this would enhance the outreach ministry of our church to which I was thoroughly committed. So I had to decide which was most important—my music preference or the outreach of our church. Many other factors were present, but seeing the big picture helped me understand and accept the music changes. Even though I haven’t made contemporary music my favorite, I see how it is enhancing our church outreach. Many of the words are actually Bible verses and passages so that is certainly God honoring.
There are many more lessons that I have been learning and I thank the Lord for the opportunities He has given to minister while I am learning them.

Join the Conversation

It has been said that God will use the events of our lives to humble us and that our role is to be responsive to God’s humbling and shaping process in our lives. How are you responding humbly to life’s lessons so that you grow personally and as a biblical counselor?